- 2:46
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We are all looking forward to becoming adults. Going through school and college like we cannot wait to get to where we're supposedly headed. And I do know where I'm headed. Do I know how I will get there? Not necessarily.
All my life I've had everything planned. Always knowing exactly what my next step was going to be. Study hard in middle school to get to high school. Power through that to get to college. Try hard to get through this last obstacle in order to achieve the ultimate goal- adulthood and independence. The ability to decide for myself without having to ask permission for anything. Not socially and certainly not financially. That's the dream.
I thought really hard about picking the right major, getting the right degree. Worked hard to get recommendations in order to get an internship so I can get a job. But that is just so uncertain. Maybe I'll get some experience. Maybe I'll just find an okay job. Maybe I'll find the job of my dreams. Maybe I won't find anything and I will be forced into another year or two of studies in order to gain a Masters Degree. So many opportunities and possibilities and yet every single one of them lacks any kind of certainty.
For the first time in my life I have no idea which direction my life we'll go. And perhaps some people enjoy the freedom of that. I am not one of those people. Uncertainty= Anxiety.
- 13:52
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Christmas is more than a time of year. It's a mood, a spirit if you will. The red, green and gold, the lights and christmas trees peaking out of every corner. The crisp air and rosy cheeks. The planning of the presents you're going to buy for your loved ones. The excruciating wait until you can actually present them with the carefully wrapped box. The moment when you see their smile. The guilt- free hot chocolate because it's cold. The decorations on the store windows. The Christmas movies. The advent calendars. The mince pies (if you're into that kind of thing). The chocolate Santas.
Everywhere you turn there is something reminding you to spread the cheer. Just because it's Christmas. It's not just a time of year.And there are places that portray the spirit so well. They hit the spot in just the perfect way. London does that. And some say that it is nothing more than consumerism at its' finest. But it's more than that- it's tradition.
You leave South Kensington Station and are greeted by tourists and kids, smeared in chocolate. Everyone is made of equal parts frost and excitement as Christmas floats in the air through the smell of gingerbread cookies and Eggnog Lattes. The bookstore is filled with books illustrating the magic that is this holiday. The Victoria and Albert museum is packed with people attempting to sneak a peak at the great works of art that reside there. The store overflows with the desire to please and make someone happy. Wrapping paper and bows go as fast as freshly baked baguettes.
The Natural History Museum portrays one of the simplest wonders- how water freezes into ice. The rink is huge and decorated with a beautiful Christmas tree. Parents and kinds, girlfriends and boyfriends and husbands and wives holding hands attempting to evade the had fall. It's intense and it's beautiful and everyone is happy. Spiked hot chocolate and a smell of mulled wine and nothing seems to be missing. There is a magic in the air that is like opium- one whiff and you are hooked. You fall for the oldest trick in the book- Christmas Magic. Because everything is better in December. The smiles are wider, the food is more, the love is more intense, the loved ones are dearer, the sparkle is blinding. And not much else matters.
Everywhere you turn there is something reminding you to spread the cheer. Just because it's Christmas. It's not just a time of year.And there are places that portray the spirit so well. They hit the spot in just the perfect way. London does that. And some say that it is nothing more than consumerism at its' finest. But it's more than that- it's tradition.
You leave South Kensington Station and are greeted by tourists and kids, smeared in chocolate. Everyone is made of equal parts frost and excitement as Christmas floats in the air through the smell of gingerbread cookies and Eggnog Lattes. The bookstore is filled with books illustrating the magic that is this holiday. The Victoria and Albert museum is packed with people attempting to sneak a peak at the great works of art that reside there. The store overflows with the desire to please and make someone happy. Wrapping paper and bows go as fast as freshly baked baguettes.
The Natural History Museum portrays one of the simplest wonders- how water freezes into ice. The rink is huge and decorated with a beautiful Christmas tree. Parents and kinds, girlfriends and boyfriends and husbands and wives holding hands attempting to evade the had fall. It's intense and it's beautiful and everyone is happy. Spiked hot chocolate and a smell of mulled wine and nothing seems to be missing. There is a magic in the air that is like opium- one whiff and you are hooked. You fall for the oldest trick in the book- Christmas Magic. Because everything is better in December. The smiles are wider, the food is more, the love is more intense, the loved ones are dearer, the sparkle is blinding. And not much else matters.
- 13:30
- 0 Comments
There are so many things on Youtube these days. You can find literally anything. It's quite interesting actually... You have the music videos, the funny ones and then all of a sudden you get sucked into the magical world of make up videos. It's not as much a world, as it is a huge ocean of useless information. If you're not wearing a lifejacket, there is a good chance you will sink and waste hours and hours looking at pointless videos. You aim to understand the magic behind taking amazing selfies (it's all in the pressed powder) and you are in a constant search for the perfect contouring tutorial. Now let me ask you this: "Do you honestly plan on buying 3 different foundations so you can get a face that looks about as fake as Kim Kardashian's cleavage?"
I guess some might say yes, but to be honest who has the time for this... Let us all wake up 3 hours earlier so we can go through this whole program of getting ready. Moisturize, prime, use the right sponge, another sponge, uuu that brush, now the eyebrows, illuminator?, set it all....and now...you're not done. What about that hair? You didn't just go through all this to go out with your hair looking like that, Tarzan! You're late for work? Well that sucks. This takes dedication! Good thing you bought that BB cream though. I can really tell how good it is for your skin under all that foundation. Your pores must be throwing a party later tonight because they are just so happy with the air up there.
Then again, I must be a bit biased. I never really understood contouring. I mean, why would you want to change your bone structure? Because you are desperately trying to look like someone else? I am by no means against make up. I just prefer it in moderation. Kinda like chocolate cake. Better not eat it for breakfast and save the experience for special occasions...
- 4:30
- 0 Comments
I seem to be one of those people who have a top of ideas, but get bored mid-task and never really finish it. Ideas have never been my problem. It's always been execution. But I do have the rare moments when something really inspires me and motivates me to actually power through and get to the finish line.
But does that mean that I shouldn't be allowed to fail in my own way. No. It doesn't. That is my main problem with most educational systems- the limitations put on a person's creativity. It really kills the flow.
If a professor tells you that your idea is all over the place and not good enough. He is more than hinting that he disapproves and you should change it. Like right now. Change it. But I like to stick to most of my projects. With most of them, I am quite passionate about the subject. I am not going for the grade, but for the opportunity to say something. Or better yet- show something to people. I am not attempting to teach or show that I have learnt. I am trying to convey feelings, emotions and ideas. That's it.
It's never really been about grades or social approval. It's more about being able to create a finished product that I am particularly proud of. Something that I can look at and be really content with. And to be honest, that is a lot harder to do that getting a good grade or having a stranger come up and say he likes your work. The self is always more demanding that the others.
But when I have managed to conclude a project and reach the desired outcome... you can't compare it to anything else. It gives me a sense of pride- like I have finally achieved this. And did so out of nothing- just creativity and a teardrop of enthusiasm and motivation. It is truly an amazing feeling. And yes, that does happen rarely. Most of the time I fail miserably and admit it.But does that mean that I shouldn't be allowed to fail in my own way. No. It doesn't. That is my main problem with most educational systems- the limitations put on a person's creativity. It really kills the flow.
If a professor tells you that your idea is all over the place and not good enough. He is more than hinting that he disapproves and you should change it. Like right now. Change it. But I like to stick to most of my projects. With most of them, I am quite passionate about the subject. I am not going for the grade, but for the opportunity to say something. Or better yet- show something to people. I am not attempting to teach or show that I have learnt. I am trying to convey feelings, emotions and ideas. That's it.
- 3:48
- 0 Comments
One of my friends always believed that "Home is where your heart is". He believed it so firmly that he permanently inked it on his chest. But does that mean that you only get one home? Or do you have multiple homes? I guess it depends on the person. I think that if home is where your heart is, then I must have about a dozen. Of course, I love my home in London and the one in Bulgaria- that's where my loved ones are. But that does not really exhaust all my "homes".
I think that every time you visit a new place, and you thoroughly enjoy it, you leave a piece of you heart there and you'll always imagine returning there. You can't help but think about what your life would be if you got the courage and moved there to pursue new adventures in a new environment. It's just one of those things that people like to fantasize about, but rarely have the balls to do.
You go to Paris and you see the stylish Parisian ladies casually drinking their coffee, while enjoying a cigarette. And they make it seem like the most effortless thing in the world. And yet they look like they have come out of a vintage photograph taken by a person who gets paid by Vogue. One of those photo shoots that will be spread across the glossy pages of the magazine in order to make all normal women feel insufficient.
You start to notice these little cultural things and then you are unable to stop. Everywhere you go, you attempt to spot them and it gives you a sort of perverse excitement every time you spot a descriptive habit. You end up imagining yourself being in their place. Doing what they do. Dressing the way they dress. Is it absurd to believe that a part of your heart is left there? That's what dreaming symbolizes after all- your heart's desires.
- 16:27
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Sometimes all a person needs is pancakes. Especially on your day off. Especially when they are shaped like hearts. For some reason this always makes me happy. Having your food look good is more than just a waste of time. It's an art form that is an integral part of your life, influencing you at least 3 times a day.
- 6:14
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