Home

One of my friends always believed that "Home is where your heart is". He believed it so firmly that he permanently inked it on his chest. But does that mean that you only get one home? Or do you have multiple homes? I guess it depends on the person. I think that if home is where your heart is, then I must have about a dozen. Of course, I love my home in London and the one in Bulgaria- that's where my loved ones are. But that does not really exhaust all my "homes". 



I think that every time you visit a new place, and you thoroughly enjoy it, you leave a piece of you heart there and you'll always imagine returning there. You can't help but think about what your life would be if you got the courage and moved there to pursue new adventures in a new environment. It's just one of those things that people like to fantasize about, but rarely have the balls to do. 
You go to Paris and you see the stylish Parisian ladies casually drinking their coffee, while enjoying a cigarette. And they make it seem like the most effortless thing in the world. And yet they look like they have come out of a vintage photograph taken by a person who gets paid by Vogue. One of those photo shoots that will be spread across the glossy pages of the magazine in order to make all normal women feel insufficient. 
You start to notice these little cultural things and then you are unable to stop. Everywhere you go, you attempt to spot them and it gives you a sort of perverse excitement every time you spot a descriptive habit. You end up imagining yourself being in their place. Doing what they do. Dressing the way they dress. Is it absurd to believe that a part of your heart is left there? That's what dreaming symbolizes after all- your heart's desires.

November 2014 part 2

There is something very strange about living in a city like London. Especially if you've been born and brought up in a place very different from it. At first you go there and you attempt to explore every little corner of your new habitat. You want to see everything, meet everyone and let it all sink in. Then you take your impressions and create this romanticized perception of the city. You fall in love with the amazing views, the richness of the history and the plethora of opportunities that are there for you to just reach out and grab. And then there is a gentle transition to something else.
 You start going to school or work (or both). You make a bunch of friends and you find your favorite spots to hang out. Your days get filled up with arrangements and chores. You find the stores you like and the ones you hate. You find the fastest route to class. And all the magic starts to evaporate. You become familiar with your surroundings and they no longer impress you or even grab your attention. You get on the tube when you have to get somewhere because it's the fastest and most efficient way  to travel. If not, you take the bus- it might be longer, but it's also cheaper. On the rare occasions when you do walk, you take the fastest way and perhaps stop for coffee or to buy some groceries. You already have the loyalty card- you're there every day. You say "hello" to the salesman, who is more like your best friend these days. You do see him at least once every 48hrs after all. You conduct the small talk that is expected, you get the products you need for tonight's dish and get on your way. You get home, kiss your loved one, thank God for TiVo and do what you've been looking forward to all day- a big, fat nothing.
And the romance between you and the city is lost.  You used to walk and get inspired by everything. The tourist bus would take you to see all the things that are supposedly worth your time. But then you would satisfy the thirst for more by searching for the little places that would be particularly interesting to you. You would find them and they would be amazing. Everything was. Everyone was new, interesting and full of adventure. You would take cabs, because you wouldn't know where things were and when you were in a hurry it was kind of justified. Strangely enough, it is so much  easier to admire the beauty of the city through the window of a taxi. The colors are different when you see them through the dirty one of a bus. They are not as expressive and that same beauty seems faded. The history makes it seem old. The diversity is nothing more than smelly food on the tube next to you. The small streets become nothing more than death traps full of tourists. The boutique bakeries and afternoon tea become more than luxuries- they become redundant in the fast-paced life where necessity is the only justifiable reason behind most actions. Adventure and inspiration take a back seat, while needs, time and hunger to prove yourself are behind the wheel. Everything seizes to appear as though created by Superhumans. Now it's just the place where you live.


On my reading list right now:

  • Jane Austen- Pride and Prejudice
  • Lena Dunham- Not that kind of girl
  • Sophie Kinsella- Shopaholic to the stars

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